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Joke of the Day

"I hate when people leave their shit in the bathroom I don't know what's so good about the showers. The toilets are right next to them!"

"Today I learned not all people are appreciative of vetriloquism. Especially my gynecologist."

"We should really thank our Dads for bringing us into this world since our Moms were probably tired and not in the mood."

"I get a new phone every year just so my friends don't think I'm lying when I tell them I've lost their number Avoidance is expensive"

"I've learned that you can buy a kitten with no problem, but you have to come back at a different time to buy the juicer."

"Why does ISIS like sheep? Is-Lamb!"

"Why did the pillow cross the road? Because it was cooler on the other side."

"Everton fan, Colonel Gaddafi's last wishes were that he should be buried in the number 18 Gascoigne shirt as he wanted to be buried in the Gaza strip."

"Yo mama so ugly when they took her to the beautician it took 12 hours. . .for a quote!"

"Have you heard the joke about my penis? Nevermind, no one ever gets it."