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Joke of the Day

"Last night I finally slept with a woman who has a Coke bottle figure. Unfortunately, she was a 3 liter."

"Whiteboards are... Remarkable"

"[at my funeral] ventriloquist: please don't judge me, he paid me a lot of money to do this me: hi everybody!"

"Heard unemployment was 10%, but I just did a quick poll of everyone at the office, and it seems like that number may be way high."

"I just asked my dad what his favourite part about being a teacher is... He responded with June, July, and August"

"When I was 20 I took a vow of celibacy... My wife however called them ""wedding vows"""

"If you call the suicide hotline in Iraq they ask if you know how to drive a truck."

"Did they play tennis in ancient Egypt? Yes the bible tells how Joseph served in Pharoah's court!"

"Remember, everyone seems normal until you get to know them..."

"Auto-erotic asphyxiation You can go on about it until you're blue in the face, I'm still not interested."