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Joke of the Day

"I just asked my dad what his favourite part about being a teacher is... He responded with June, July, and August"

"So Hitler is working at a bookstore and I go up to him and say, ""Hey, do you have any books about the expense of a yell?"" He replies, ""Kinda, I have this book about the Holla' cost."""

"Why are lesbians always low on cash? Because they're constantly eating out!"

"When I was getting my prostate exam, I asked the Doctor where I should put my pants.. ""Over there, beside mine"" wasn't the answer I was expecting."

"{Text} Me: Come home soon baby, I'm dressed like Leia.. Him: So turned on, I am.. Me: If you show up dressed like Yoda it's not happening"

"Forget drugs and sex. Parents please talk to your kids about their grammar and spelling."

"I measure how hard I'm working by whether I feel compelled to close my eyes and nap while sitting on the toilet."

"I was in the supermarket when I got a message on my phone telling me there were 24 singles in my area, Think I'm going to delete the Kraft Cheese app."

"Scientists say Spider-Man would not be able to climb vertical surfaces due to his size. It's almost like someone made the whole thing up."

"My girlfriend's at home tonight, baking. So hopefully the police don't look in the oven and find her."