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Joke of the Day

"Heard unemployment was 10%, but I just did a quick poll of everyone at the office, and it seems like that number may be way high."

"Did you hear the one about the German sausage? It was the wurst!"

"[panting, 5 minutes into sex] It's okay, just go on without me"

"A month before my grandfather died we had tried everything to cure him. We then heard you could try covering him head to toe in baby oil - after that he went downhill very quickly."

"I'am drinking with my new GF and her gay friend from work. So there's 100% chance I'am getting laid and a 50% chance I'll like it."

"Just saw a really hot woman in 9inch heels pay for a plasma tv with ones.. I could be wrong but i think she might be a librarian."

"An Eskimo is holidaying in New Zealand.. His car breaks down. A Kiwi stops to help, opens the bonnet, and says ""Bro, you've blown a seal"" To which the Eskimo responds ""so what mate, you fuck sheep!"""

"When pianists fall in love what is their favourite position ? the four hands (you dirty minds)"

"Where do poor noodles live? The spaghetto."

"I have seen my first naked lady Sorry, I meant... I have seen my First Lady naked."