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Joke of the Day

"Heard unemployment was 10%, but I just did a quick poll of everyone at the office, and it seems like that number may be way high."

"8 out of 10 men prefer not to date psychotic women with bad tempers, emotional baggage and daddy issues. To the other two.... Hi, I'm MJ"

"Well, Palm Sunday was a lot more fun than 'closed-fist Monday'"

"If a murderer wanted to lure me out of my room all he'd have to do is turn off my wifi cause sure as shit i'm gonna see why it aint working"

"Wanna hear a ghost joke? That's the spirit!"

"What did the horny Astronomer say to the telescope? I wanna see Uranus."

"Get-rich-quick schemes rarely make much cents"

"I like to tell people ""it's a black thing, you wouldn't understand.""And they'd be all ""but you're white"" I told ya you wouldn't understand."

"The restraining order doesn't mean we can't hang. It just says I can't get within 50ft of you. You wanna play catch or Frisbee or something?"

"I use to know someone who was addicted to soap. He's clean now"