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Joke of the Day

"Dear Customer Service: First of all, you should know that I'm typing this with my middle finger."

"I knew a guy who was into sadism, necrophilia, and beastiality... But he gave it up cause at the end of the day, he was just beating a dead horse."

"I use profanity freely because it doesn't seem right to charge you (ya cunt!)"

"What's the difference between St. Patrick's Day and Martin Luther King Day? Everyone pretends to be Irish on St. Paddy's Day."

"I swear I won't be undressing you with my eyes again. That REALLY hurt!"

"Who do cows pray to? Moohammad"

"How did the hipster burn his mouth? He ate his dinner before it was cool."

"If tennis rules were chasing the ball and bringing it to your opponent without letting him have it, my dog would be the best in the world."

"Cop: Why did you burn that building down? Me: Because they keep sending emails after unsubscribing. Cop: You're free to go."

"Reinventing Yourself http://dryinginside.blogspot.com/2012/10/reinventing-yourself-doesnt-always-work.html"