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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between St. Patrick's Day and Martin Luther King Day? Everyone pretends to be Irish on St. Paddy's Day."

"How come Hitler never went to the movies? Because he could nazi!"

"Even with all the flooding in LA I don't think the police should be able to shutdown the major roadways.. Because that's highway robbery"

"I'm still waiting for my date from last summer to come back from the restaurant's bathroom... I hope everything is ok."

"My initial goal is to get really, really fat and be a contestant on The Biggest Loser."

"What's the best part of being a man? You don't have to sleep next to a hairy asshole for the rest of your life."

"Ben Hur new politically correct versions For straight population: Ben Hur For homosexuals: Ben Gay For lesbians: Ben Wa"

"I think RoastMe should be renamed... to DaisExMachina."

"It's ok to laugh during sex...just don't point."

"N.W.A. writes a song called Fuck the Police and everybody loves it. I write a song called Fuck the Firemen and apparently I'm just an asshole."