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Joke of the Day

"If tennis rules were chasing the ball and bringing it to your opponent without letting him have it, my dog would be the best in the world."

"Why do women talk non-stop? Because they don't like periods."

"What's the difference between a dirty bus stop and a lobster with breast implants? Ones a crusty bus station and ones a busty crustacean....."

"Nutella is made with hazelnuts, milk, real cocoa and pure evil."

"What is a happy cowboy's favorite candy? A jolly rancher."

"What is the difference between three dicks and a joke? Your mom can't take a joke"

"Your voicemail will be ignored in the order in which it was received. Beep."

"I just got off the phone with God. He's pretty bummed out. Poor guy has a huge crush on an atheist, but she doesn't even know he exists."

"If an indoor shooting range is burning, what does one scream to inform them?"

"My wife took me to the best 3D movie I had ever seen last night. Half way through it I realized: we were at a play."