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Joke of the Day

"Pro Tip: If you are under the age of 35, don't get married. If you are over 35, don't get married. If you are 35, don't get married."

"what did president abe lincoln call his journal? ...his lincoln logs"

"What connects The Sixth Sense and Titanic? Icy dead people."

"How much do deer nuts cost? Under a buck"

"Q. Why was Goliath so surprised when David hit him with a slingshot? A. The thought had never entered his head before."

"Following in David Bowies footprints.... Well, David Bowie the gender bender is no longer alive on this earth - OK Caitlyn, it's your turn!"

"What porn do Saudis get away with? Camel toes."

"Burger King employee: what size [drink] would you like? Me (thinking she said 'side'): fries. BK: What? Me: *more forcefully* fries."

"What do you call a politically powerful shrub in Jamaica? A hegemon."

"My nephew asked me what marriage was like. So I gave him a candy bar and told him not to eat it."