156716

Joke of the Day

"Burger King employee: what size [drink] would you like? Me (thinking she said 'side'): fries. BK: What? Me: *more forcefully* fries."

"The downside of robotic limb replacements is that they cost an arm and a leg The upside of robotic limb replacements is that they cost an arm and a leg"

"What's the difference between mathematicians and Syrian refugees? Mathematicians don't struggle with integration."

"He pasta way? Here today, gone tomato. You cannoli do so much before thyme is up. Never sausage a tragedy. Olive my thoughts are with you."

"Kanye West is still performing at the Pan Am closing ceremony. Looks like the petition didn't Pan out."

"What's the difference between a hooker and a mosquito? The mosquito stops sucking after you slap it!"

"Which is Reddit's favourite element? M'lybdenum."

"Why do all black people have nightmares? Because the last one to have a dream got shot."

"Interviewer: how do you explain the long gap in your resume? Me: I fell asleep with my face on the spacebar"

"I made a belt out of $100 Bills. It's a waist of money."