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Joke of the Day

"Did you know that diarrhea is hereditary? It runs in your jeans. Credit to my younger brother on this one"

"One from my 7yo God daughter: why can't Elsa hold on to her balloon? Because she keeps letting it go!"

"What did the hotel clerk tell the guest with paruresis during check in? Your in 8."

"me as a realtor: This house does include a crawl space. It's probably full of bones already, but you can always add more bones yourself."

"How do you become a millionaire in post-Brexit UK? First, start off with a billion pounds.."

"Kid goes to buy weed for the first time. Kid: how much you want for that half ounce? Dealer: 4 20s Ill go hide in shame."

"Teacher and Student Teacher: Why are you late? Student: Because of the sign on the road. Teacher: What type of sign? Student: The sign that says, ""School Ahead, Go Slow.""!"

"What did the cannibal ask for in his burrito? Human beans"

"Sleeping Beauty is my favorite Disney movie where the curse sounds amazing."

"HOT SINGLES IN YOUR AREA VALUE YOUR FRIENDSHIP TOO MUCH TO RUIN IT WITH SEX. SURE, YOU'RE ATTRACTIVE, THEY JUST DON'T SEE YOU IN THAT WAY"