129340

Joke of the Day

"One from my 7yo God daughter: why can't Elsa hold on to her balloon? Because she keeps letting it go!"

"Yo mamma so fat.. That she drowns in the dead sea!"

"Drunk girls click ""reply all"" when they talk."

"What haircut did the Texan barber recommend when asked? He couldn't think of anything, and said ""I'll mullet over"""

"I met a pirate the other day that had a steering wheel in his pants. I asked him what that was. He said: ""rrrr ...i don't what it izz but it's driving mezzz nuts"""

"When it comes to sex I'm a bit of a romantic... I only masturbate to the thought of fucking girls in the missionary position."

"I went to a dance. First they played 'Jump', so I jumped. Then they played 'The Twist', so I twisted. Then they played 'Come On Eileen', so I got kicked out."

"In the eyes of God, there is no good reason to Masturbate... In the eyes of my girlfriend, well she prefers it on her chest."

"I was looking for the sun at night, and then it dawned on me."

"At this point, I think the people on ""The Walking Dead"" are trying to bore the zombies into not biting them."