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Joke of the Day

"What did the cannibal ask for in his burrito? Human beans"

"Oh com'on Kim Jong everyone has a ""funny uncle"" in the family....don't you think the firing squad was a little harsh???"

"A boy calls 911 Boy: Hello? I need your help! 911 Operator: What's your emergency? Boy: Two girls are fighting over me! 911 Operator: So what's the problem? Boy: The ugly one is winning."

"Apparently other than the russian ties, another interesting revelation was released about Trump. He loves trickle-down economics."

"What did Naruto say at his mentor'a funeral? Bereave it."

"*birds dress Cinderella for school* *gets to school, goes into bathroom* *buncha rabid squirrels gather and re-dress her in goth shit*"

"[at pet store] ""This tortoise's shell keeps going soft. Am I doing something wrong?"" ""No, it happens. It's just a reptile dysfunction."""

"A riddle Who's got orange skin, poor speaking skills, is overwhelmingly disliked and is in over his head? Yeah, I know, too easy right? It's Jar Jar Binks"

"3yo: I don't want a walk Me: Come on, it'll be fun braving the elements [An hour later] 3yo: *Very disappointed* Where are the elephants?"

"Did you hear about the dog-walker that went missing? Police say they are following a few leads."