87696

Joke of the Day

"TSA agents might have to arrest me if... They felt deez guns *flex*"

"Imagine my surprise when I found out that don't is not the abbreviation for donut"

"Helen Keller walks into a bar... And a table. And some chairs."

"Did you hear the one about the Viking who was reincarnated? He was Bjorn again."

"Quick! Does anyone know how I can get red wine off of my date's white cat?!"

"If you pronounce the word vase like ""voz"" I'm gonna want to punch you in the foz"

"I was running down a street and saw a bloke, I shouted ""Run quick, some lions have escaped from the zoo.""He said ""which way are they heading?"" I replied ""Well, I'm not chasing the fuckers."""

"What was Jesus's least favourite exercise class? Pontius Pilates."

"Did you hear about the dyslexic agnostic insomniac..? He lay awake at night wondering if there really was a dog..."

"Eddie's father called up to him 'Eddie if you don't stop playing that trumpet I think I'll go crazy!' Eddy replied 'I think you are already I stopped playing half an hour ago.'"