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Joke of the Day

"I was running down a street and saw a bloke, I shouted ""Run quick, some lions have escaped from the zoo.""He said ""which way are they heading?"" I replied ""Well, I'm not chasing the fuckers."""

"I am forming a new punk band! We are called ""young boys getting sodomised by fat middle aged men"". Search for us on google!"

"""My wife worked a 12-hour day and I asked what was for dinner"" I explain to the other homeless people."

"What does a fire, flood, earthquake, tornado, hurricane, and a wife have in common? Sooner or later, one of them is probably going to get your house."

"With virtually no power, there still comes a surprisingly large amount of responsibility."

"The Pope just reaffirmed that Jews can go to Heaven Damn legacy applicants."

"Always love a woman for her personality. They have like 10, so you can choose."

"A man has dinner at a chinese restaurant The man says to the chef: ""Gee, this steak is rubbery!"" And the chef replies ""thank you very much!"""

"Getting Old- It's scary when you start making the same noises as your coffee maker."

"Why was the atom laughing? Because part tickles."