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Joke of the Day
"Stephen Hawking masturbating Now there's a stroke of genius"
Next Joke
"ME: *opens planner and puts on reading glasses* no im sorry looks like i can't make it FRIEND: you're holding a VCR warranty brochure"
"Why did the pelican get kicked out of the restaurant? Because he had a very large bill."
"American A man from Israel got his citizenship, I guess you could say he Israeli American now"
"The way I see it, each lap I make around Costco's frozen food section should work off each sample I get from the ice cream sandwich lady."
"Why do mathematicians think that spring is summer? It's not their fault. May tricks them."
"A jew girl's doctor tricked her into having sex with him. Hesadic was good for her."
"What's the difference between friends and potatoes? Potatoes don't scream when you peel their skin and toss them in boiling water."
"Gonna replace my friends' hand sanitizer with lube and watch them rub their hands together for an hour while it doesn't evaporate."
"My doctor says I need to avoid trans fats I'm really going to miss Tumblr"