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Joke of the Day

"Why was the midget fired from his job? He came up short on his register."

"I'm about as excited for hilary to be president, as Bill is when he sees her naked."

"Why was the priest afraid of trigonometry? cos sin"

"Resistance training But me dragging my kids into school."

"I have to come clean... So I just whack off in the shower."

"Q: What did the blonde do when she noticed that someone had already written on the overhead transparency? A: She turned it over and used the other side."

"July 4th PSA: On one hand fireworks are a lot of fun. On the other hand I only have 2 fingers."

"I got told at church last Sunday that I should love my neighbour as I love myself. He wasn't very happy when I tried to wank him off."

"Spoiler alert for the lady in this line, repeatedly asking her newborn 'what's wrong?' Its not gonna answer ya."

"How do you starve a black guy? Hide his food stamps under his work boots."