157028

Joke of the Day

"So Howard Webb has retired from refereeing..In his honour, Manchester United have retired the penalty spot."

"German boy Why did the German boy go to Summer camp? I don't know he did notsay!"

"WIFE: What are you doing? ME: [struggling on floor] Yoga WIFE: At the bottom of the stairs? ME: WIFE: You fell down the stairs ME: Yes"

"What did the stamp say to the envelope? ""I've become attached to you."""

"Why do French tanks have rearview mirrors? So they can see the battle."

"Wearing crocs is like getting a blowjob by a guy It feels good until you look down and realize your gay"

"One tectonic plate bumped into another and said..... ""Sorry, my fault."""

"Why don't Indians eat baguette? Because there's naan there."

"If you woke up naked, in the middle of the forest with no memory of what happened and your butt is covered in lube, would you tell anyone? ""*No!*"" Wanna to go camping?"

"What's the difference between parsley and pussy? Who eats parsley?"