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Joke of the Day

"Why are there fences around a graveyard? People are dying to get in."

"I think 90% of the software on my computer doesn't do anything except send me notices that there's a new version of itself."

"""On this episode of 60 Minutes, we'll talk to a woman who had a baby but did not change her Facebook profile picture to a photo of it..."""

"What's the difference between you and a brick? Bricks can get laid."

"Insanity [insanity] (noun): Doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results See Also: Going back to your ex"

"Marriage is like having your favorite meal every day... At first, it's great! But after a week, you're thinking, ""Eh, I kinda feel like having Asian tonight."""

"My cat just showed it's holiday spirit by pooping tinsel."

"""I know she told me to buy Tampax, but I'll buy the store brand that's on sale instead."" The last thoughts of a man who's about to die."

"What looks like a dog sounds like a dog eats like a dog but isn't a dog? A pup."

"If you laid all the lawyers in the world head to foot around the Equator then... Hey come to think of it that's not a bad idea."