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Joke of the Day

"Did you hear about the butcher who backed into the meat grinder? He got a little behind in his work."

Next Joke
 
"What would Dorothy have said if she practiced Yoga instead of new age magical thinking? There's no place like OM."
"Girl: My dog bit my boyfriend. Me: Your dog is a good judge of character."
"Jesus can walk on water. Babies are 89% water. I can walk on babies. I am... in jail."
"Current fitness level: arm is tired from brushing teeth."
"HR: How do you think we can better handle this in the future? ME [glaring at Cheryl, who took the last donut]: idk, maybe don't hire Cheryl"
"Me: Show me a pan that didn't get clean the first time and I will show you a pan that needs to soak.. Wife: STOP TWEETING AND WASH THE PAN!"
"Knock knock!!!1!1 Who's there? U fuk U fuk who? Ur mum"
"Judge: Order in the court [from the back] Me: Can I get a large pepperoni pizza with... [puts hand over speaker and looks around] what?"
"Have you ever smelled Moth Balls? How'd you get their little legs apart?"