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Joke of the Day

"What would Dorothy have said if she practiced Yoga instead of new age magical thinking? There's no place like OM."

"Why do jihadists drink instant coffee? Because they hate the French press"

"*doesn't look up from phone* I do"

"I would do anything for my friends. Except answer their calls, return their texts, listen to their problems or see them. But anything else"

"I gave my blind friend a cheese grater for his birthday... He said it's the most violent book he's ever read."

"Why is Viagra like Disneyworld? - You have to wait an hour for a three minute ride"

"Who's the most famous chair tester? Mike Easter"

"Been going to the gym now for 6 weeks and have noticed some huge improvements. For one, they've fixed the water cooler."

"Q: What do astronauts eat for dinner? A: Launch meat."

"Why is Donald Trump like a Gibbering Mouther from DnD? Both are all mouth and no balls."