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Joke of the Day

"HR: How do you think we can better handle this in the future? ME [glaring at Cheryl, who took the last donut]: idk, maybe don't hire Cheryl"

"What time is it? http://youtu.be/mHyRCeKxhss This is an animated joke. I hope a video submission flies here."

"There is no amount of money I wouldn't pay for a remote control that could walk itself over to me from the other side of the room."

"My cat must hate his litter box He just shits all over it"

"What did the dope dealer say after he got a colonic? I don't got shit."

"What do you call an retarded rich kid? Downstown Abby"

"several animals were harmed in the making of this film. a piece of shit horse nobody liked and a gecko that we straight up lost"

"What's the opposite of quantum physics? Logic. (If you don't like physics jokes, just keep movin') ...(if you don't like math jokes, trust me, sometimes it makes a difference)."

"What do the female reindeer do when they want some fun? They go into town and blow a few bucks."

"My workout schedule: 1. Run half mile 2. 10 reps of 5 lb. hand weights 3. 35 year break 4. Protein shake 5. Repeat"