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Joke of the Day

"National Women's Equality Day is the Same Day as National Dog's Day Coincidence? I think not."

"I got a new one for you. You know how I can tell if the government smokes the pot the DEA seizes? THEY'RE paranoid and OUR rights are being taken away."

"Tell you what I know about dwarves very little. I can say that, they look up to me."

"The personal trainer at the gym advised me to try some resistance training. So far it's going really well. I've resisted going to the gym for six days now."

"'Ghost In The Shell' ran tests to make white actors look asian. Turns out actors aren't very good at math."

"Think of a number. Realize that number will never think of you too. Lay on your bathroom floor and sob."

"I have this bad habit of projecting. I believe everyone pretty much thinks the same way I do. But I'm sure everyone does that."

"Why did he do that? Who is she? What does that mean? When did that happen? Why? How? I need to go to the toilet. - Child, at the cinema"

"Slippers made out of Lego so that when you step on Lego you just get taller."

"What do you get when you cross my mom with my dad? I don't know, but my Dad said it was a mistake."