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Joke of the Day

"'Ghost In The Shell' ran tests to make white actors look asian. Turns out actors aren't very good at math."

"I'm not saying she's a slut, but she's been banged more than a snooze button on Monday morning."

"Why was the mathematician stressed out? He was in a dilemma."

"By saying you want a sandwich after sex you're letting me know you suck at sex because you expect me to be able to walk afterwards."

"I have discovered that theirs no popcorn in popcorn chicken. I guess there's no point in bothering with hash browns then."

"A homophobe goes to the doctor to see if he has cancer... He says, ""Give it to me straight, Doc."""

"Today I was told that I sing like an amputee. Apparently I can't hold a note or carry a tune."

"Two peanuts were walking down the street, one was a salted."

"Spell check changed ""important"" to ""impotent"" so basically I have a meeting in the morning that can't get it up."

"My left butt cheek was hurting pretty bad earlier, so I asked my girlfriend to massage it for me. I told her... that I didn't want it half-assed."