139500

Joke of the Day

"Slippers made out of Lego so that when you step on Lego you just get taller."

"My blood type is A+ because I'm the best at everything. Even at having blood."

"Where do people go for pasta related crimes? A PENNEtentiary!"

"FINALS TIP: Create a reward system to help you study. For example, if you spend 1 hour studying, reward yourself with 72 hours of Netflix."

"INTERVIEWER:How good are your public speaking skills? ME:*from behind a tall plant in the office, I throw a piece of paper saying 'Decent'*"

"They say 9 or 10 is a good age to tell your kid they were adopted, but only IF they were adopted."

"The U.S mint stopped making pennies. I don't know why, it doesn't make any cents."

"Masturbation is like procrastination, it's all good and fun until you realize you are only fucking yourself!"

"Why to Native Americans wear Jockstraps? TOTEM POLE!!"

"Uncle Frank's will stipulates he be cremated & his ashes added to the vegetable water sprayers at the local grocery store. He will be mist."