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Joke of the Day

"Think of a number. Realize that number will never think of you too. Lay on your bathroom floor and sob."

"(BAD JOKE) Did someone say pretzels? Yes, you just did"

"Why were some people living in the 80s so healthy? Because they had good high jeans"

"My Girlfriend broke up with me because I don't last long in bed... I told her if she ever changes her mind, all she has to do is phone and I'll come straight away."

"Alcohol may not be able to give you a loving hug when you need it but the Liquor Mart employee's you're buying it off of sure can."

"1. Sit in stall of a crowded bathroom. 2. Whisper, ""Oh no, not again..."" 3. Slowly pour a large bucket of milk onto the floor."

"I'm trying to think of a good joke about star wars But they all seem too forced"

"Why don't Junior League debutantes like group sex? Too many Thank You notes to write."

"A black man and a feather fall out of a tree. Which hits the ground first? The feather. The black man is stopped by the rope."

"A homeless man staggers into a bar Plot twist... it was soap. He landed a lucrative job shortly thereafter and started sweeping his problems under the rug like the rest of us."