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Joke of the Day
"when your neighbor cuts his grass and suddenly your place looks like a good place to score meth"
Next Joke
"Unlike his famous father, Lord Kelvin's son never amounted to much. He was an absolute zero."
"I want to repaint my room a shade of white... ...but I can't decide between ""eggshell"", ""beige"", or ""2016 Oscars""."
"WHY DOES THIS BOTTLE OF BODY WASH HAVE DIRECTIONS PRINTED ON IT"
"Dear Mr. Trump, thank you very much For all of the new gifs and new memes last night at the debate."
"if you can cow boy lasso something inside a store and pull it outside to where you are you get it for free"
"In the year 1973, there were 2000 Elvis Impersonators. By 1993, over 30,000. At this rate, by 2050 1 out of 3 people will be Elvis"
"Wife: DO YOU KNOW WHAT TODAY IS? Husband: ? *Wife storms out room* Husband: Happy Valsenbirthery?!"
"What do you call a normal potato? A commentator"
"a disturbing new trend called hot bowling: teens order a breadbowl full of soup at Panera & attempt to eat the breadbowl BEFORE the soup"