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Joke of the Day

"Please hold so I can transfer you to a supervisor and accidentally hang up on you."

"Insanity is hereditary. You get it from your kids."

"A man was pulled over for speeding... The officer says: Where is the fire at? The man replies: it's back there, I'm just going to get the water! (This is a true story, my uncle really said this)"

"Me: hey squirrel, dnt steal d pigeon's food, the eggs are about to hatch S: u stole a cake frm ur roomate Me: Me: here, take the eggs too"

"Her: I just don't like you, no one does Me: What, why? is it my hair? Her: no Me: MY LOOKS!? Her: no, it's your personality Me: oh thank god"

"A Priest, a Homosexual, and a Pedophile walk into a bar... And he orders a beer."

"What do you call a unicorn that's had its horn removed? A eunuchorn."

"A venn diagram is a lot like two fat people sitting next to each other... There's never enough space in the middle."

"Today my friend got a new downstairs neighbor. Herpes"

"I figure I must be Bi-sexual. I have sex twice a year."