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Joke of the Day
"Why insult someone when you can say something nice in a very sarcastic tone."
Next Joke
"Just once in my life, I'd like to know the sweet satisfaction of finishing a tube of ChapStick."
"When attacked by a mob of clowns... Go for the juggler."
"I can be up bright or early. Pick one."
"Nice guys don't finish last, fat guys do."
"PASTOR: and the lord said unto uscan u stop please? it's very distracting ME: [bouncing up & down on yoga ball] i don't think he said that"
"What is the difference between a Greek spearman and a pale beer? One is hoplite, and the other a light hops."
"I think Diane knows I was her Secret Santa at this morning's office party, because this afternoon I had to borrow my stapler back from her."
"If my dying plant is any indication, I probably don't water my dog enough... Oh fuck, where's my kid?"
"A hipster so cool he is reading a tree"