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Joke of the Day

"If you're ever on death row, request Denny's for your last meal so you can live an extra year waiting on your order."

"The weather and a pussy are similar in one regards When it starts to get wet, it is time get inside."

"England at the 2014 World Cup"

"I just want a woman that will look out for me while I'm shaking the vending machine"

"I prefer to date a man after I see how well he treats his wife."

"I MUSTACHE U A QUESTION BUT I WILL SHAVE IT FOR LATER"

"I gave my baby a teething toy so she would stop chewing on my fingers. She wasn't interested because it didn't scream out in pain."

"How do you convey body language? With your figure of speech"

"School report My hot history teacher told me I have to give her a one on one report on 'deep throat'. Long story short I got expelled and btw what the fuck is 'watergate'?!?!?!"

"Why couldn't the Japanese guy see his car? Because he had a cataract!"