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Joke of the Day

"What do houses eat when their breath stinks? Apart Mints"

"What do you call a potato that's also a sports fan? A spec-tator!"

"Son, its time we had 'the talk.' [dad removes shirt, starts projector, chugs 4 beers] Ok! So Tower 1 steel beams could only have melted at-"

"I was a bit of a nerd in high school. Instead of chasing girls I was studying philosophy My friends always said that I put Descartes before the whores."

"I never expected my dad to steal from his road construction job... but when I got home all of the signs were there."

"If Trump wins the presidency, you know who's gonna be the most excited about buildin' a Southern border fence? Canada."

"Where's the best place to find a dog with no legs? Where you left it"

"Why doesn't Santa have kids? Because he only comes once a year"

"What would Ashley Tisdale have to do to become a boxing champion? Bop bop bop, bop to the top"

"A student brings a slingshot to algebra class and fires gum at the professor It was a weapon of math disruption."