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Joke of the Day

"Son, its time we had 'the talk.' [dad removes shirt, starts projector, chugs 4 beers] Ok! So Tower 1 steel beams could only have melted at-"

"Have you ever tried duck sausage? Why don't you duck on down and get you some?"

"Knew a guy who fashioned an entire suit out of rubber bands. He was quite the snappy dresser."

"I'd probably have more friends if I didn't answer every call with ""Why did you save my number?"""

"What is the difference between Tiger Woods and Santa Claus? Santa stops after three hos."

"A man started a business in Afghanistan. He's making landmines that look like prayer mats. ""It's going well,"" he said. ""Prophets are going through the roof."""

"What's difference between Jesse Owens and Adolf Hilter? Owens can finish a race."

"Dear Neighbours, ""She's coming"" isn't a great warning to give when I walk by and you stop talking."

"The best mathematical equation I have ever seen: 1 cross + 3 nails= 4 given."

"I take the time every night to read Facebook statuses to my children as part of my stay in school campaign."