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Joke of the Day

"What has 10 letters and starts with Gas? Automobile! Everyone says gasoline because they don't think about it."

"Chuck Norris died yesterday. He's fine today."

"Anal sex is like a big red button with ""do not push"" on it... You know you shouldn't, butt fuck it."

"Me: I have Schrodinger like reflexes ""Don't you mean cat-like reflexes?"" Me: Yes and No."

"My gf could be a an NFL running back she will *not* go down."

"Did you get those yoga pants on sale? Because at my house they're 100% off,"

"Jokes don't kill people people who don't get jokes kill people."

"""Ten years ago, we had no Jobs, no Hope, and no Cash!"" --cemeteries"

"Whoever left me in charge of my own destiny has a lot of explaining to do."

"I wish people would stop asking me where I see myself in 5 years.. I don't have 2020 vision."