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Joke of the Day

"Me: I have Schrodinger like reflexes ""Don't you mean cat-like reflexes?"" Me: Yes and No."

"They said being blind would hinder my chances of becoming a comedian. I don't see them laughing now."

"So today I met a guy who went to high school with OJ Simpson. I asked him what OJ was like back then. He was quite the lady-killer apparently"

"So a muslim guy walks into a bar.. Orders a drink, quietly enjoys it and then leaves. What? Were you expecting a more explosive punch line?"

"My daughter just asked for a Samsung Galaxy phone. Had to sit her down and explain to her we aren't poor. #iPhone"

"The astrophysics class I wanted to take filled up. Now I need to figure out what other course will work for my schedule and major. It's not rocket science."

"My wife tried to apply at the post office but they wouldn't letter. They said only mails work here."

"How did the dictator make it easier for power companies to do business with neighboring countries? He stepped down."

"Taking calculus has made me want to become Prime Minister of a European country Then I can just throw money at problems instead of trying to integrate them."

"Why cant you make fun of Chinese people? Because its just wong"