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Joke of the Day

"Where do cousins come from? Aunt holes"

"You can tell a movie is going to be funny if one is the characters is shrugging in the poster. Because shrugging people will do anything!"

"I'm supposed to be afraid of you because you are a twitter badass? What are you going to do, caps lock me?"

"Whole Foods makes you feel like the million dollars it costs to shop there."

"What's black and sits at the top of a staircase? Steven Hawking after a house fire."

"What did Rihanna say to her grandma with Alzheimer's? Oh na na, what's my name?"

"Where does a Muslim learn to swim? Inshallah water."

"Are anti-jokes still funny? Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead"

"Accidentally walked into the men's room so I just went ahead and used the urinal so it wouldn't be awkward for anyone."

"Considering how badly Asians drive, I got to thinking. Maybe Pearl Harbor was an accident."