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Joke of the Day

"I got kicked out of the chorus line I was with. I just couldn't stay in sequins."

"What did the ZERO say to the EIGHT? 0 - Nice belt. 8 - thank you :)"

"People joke about Bieber Fever. Don't. Sigourney Weaver Fever killed my father."

"What does a mermaid wear to math class? An ""algebra"""

"When asked why he wouldn't upgrade his operating system to Windows 8... Arnold Schwarzenegger replied: 'Windows 8, never! I still love Vista baby'..."

"Why can't you tell Walter White a knock knock joke? Because HE is the one who knocks."

"For everyone in the working world today: It's a Tuesday... ...which is like a Monday but with steel-toed boots and a slightly lower aim."

"My girlfriend has been waiting for me to finish my book about old clocks for ages. When I finally gave it to her, all she said was ""It's about time!?"""

"What do call an ant that helps you with your taxes? An account-ant."

"I told my friends that I'm going for a date with a gorgeous girl, and they teased me that she's imaginary. Joke's on them, they are too."