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Joke of the Day

"When asked why he wouldn't upgrade his operating system to Windows 8... Arnold Schwarzenegger replied: 'Windows 8, never! I still love Vista baby'..."

"I watched Al Jazera and was very disappointed. Not nearly enough music from the 1920s."

"Why did cavemen pull their women around by their hair? Because if they had pulled them by their feet they would have filled up with mud"

"Did you hear Lorena Bobbitt died in a car accident? She got cut off by a dick."

"what is the most terrifying sound to a redditor?? pao pao pao..."

"Me: I'd like to report a disturbance. Police Dispatcher: Okay, where sir? Me: In the force, I can feel it."

"What did the mayonnaise say when the refrigerator was opened? ""Close that damn door! Can't you see I'm dressing??"""

"What do you get when you mix a public speaker with someone who had tourettes? A clock! One provides the tic, the other provides the talk Credit to my Autistic Big Bro"

"What's the difference between a catfish and a lawyer? One's a bottom-feeding scum-sucker and the other one's a fish."

"A German walks into a French bar There is no counter."