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Joke of the Day

"If the number 666 is considered evil ..is 25.8069758 the root of all evil? Edit: My first gold! Thank you kind stranger."

"Entered what I ate today into my new fitness app and it just sent an ambulance to my house."

"Just heard someone screaming outside and my instinct was to turn up the TV. Whatever the opposite of a superhero is, I'm that."

"This cashier looked at my 12 bottles of weed spray so weirdly, I suspect she's never broken a lawnmower before."

"What do you call a Masterbating Cow? A Beef Stroganoff"

"Why was the Facebook post redundant? Because I already reddit"

"What a few black wolves and a classic musician have in common? The two are Wolfgang."

"I went to a seafood disco last week I ended up pulling a mussel."

"What's the difference between a Pakistani mosque and a Afghanistan mosque and an Iraqi mosque? How should I know, I just fly the drones."

"Got home late to a note that said ""Wake me up for sex"", which I stared at for 10 mins before realizing it was my own handwriting."