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Joke of the Day

"The only time my girl friend will ever scream ""DEEPER, DEEPER""... ...is when they are lowering my casket into the ground!"

"I can't stop making dirty jokes My doctor says I'm adickted"

"How do you pick up a jewish girl? In a dustpan."

"Why does 8 hate 7? Because 7 8 9"

"How many Grateful Dead Fans does it take to change a lightbulb? None. They just watch it burn out and follow it around for twenty years."

"I'm starting a band. It'll be called ""The disease"" just so I can call Chris Martin to tell him he is part of neither the cure nor the disease."

"A sheep walks into a bar. Lots more sheep follow, the barman counts them and falls asleep, the sheep help themselves to free drinks. Genius."

"The cops just showed up at work & all the workers that have been in trouble before fled. At least that's what I can see from under my desk."

"Whenever I have a panic attack I put a paper bag over my mouth & once I'm done drinking the alcohol inside I feel a lot better."

"I'm going to start rubbing myself up against people when they've got nice food. If it works for my cat, it'll work for me."