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Joke of the Day

"I can't stop making dirty jokes My doctor says I'm adickted"

"What did the apple say to the banana? Nothing -- apples don't talk!"

"I love it when the playoff picture begins to develop in baseball. That means football is beginning."

"Me: Hi Kid: M: Still? It's been a week K: YOUR FIRST INSTINCT DURING A CAR ACCIDENT WAS TO PROTECT YOUR PHONE! M: You didn't die. Calm down."

"What does a dominatrix say when she's late? ""Sorry I tied you up"""

"I organized a threesome last night....there were a couple of no shows, but I still had a good time."

"Sometimes when my cat is sitting on a chair, I sneak up, shake the chair hard, yelling, ""EARTHQUAKE!"" Sadly, like many, she's not prepared"

"What do you call an arcade in eastern europe? czech-e-cheese"

"If Lebron's so much better than Jordan then explain to me why Bugs Bunny has never once asked for his help in a game. Cant argue with facts."

"Q: Did you hear about the Mexico City earthquake? A: It did $100 million worth of improvements."