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Joke of the Day

"Whenever I have a panic attack I put a paper bag over my mouth & once I'm done drinking the alcohol inside I feel a lot better."

"""NOAH. YOU WILL BUILD AN ARK"" k ""NOT ""K"" THIS IS IMPORTANT"" Sorry ""THATS OK. TAKE 2 OF EVERY ANIMAL ON IT"" Even fish? *THUNDER* ""NO NOT FISH"

"On a hot day, what did the pig say to the other pig after he came back from the car? ""It's bacon in there!"""

"What do Donald Trump supporters and flour have in common? They are both in bread."

"Why couldn't Marco Rubio register on a web forum? The website required him to prove that he is not a robot."

"What do you call a semi truck with it's load half empty? Pessimist Prime"

"FRIEND: haha she's so cutesay it for him honey HER TODDLER: the moon is cheeeeese ME: well what have we here, a tiny liar"

"women are like pokemon, they were originally released for Game Boy in 1996 and now encompass a vast series of games, toys, and cartoo"

"My girlfriend asked me to stop playing mind games. I looked confused and asked, ""Who are you again?"""

"What do you call a woman with a bicycle on her head ? Petal !"