86224

Joke of the Day

"""Jesus loves you."" A good thing to hear in church but a terrifying thing to hear in a mexican prison."

"What do you call a girl that goes down right after you just met? Ronda Rousey"

"Reddit knock knock joke Knock knock..who's there...go away the punchline is private!!"

"I tried to donate blood to the Red Cross the other day... ...but they wouldn't accept it in a 5 gallon bucket. They also said it had to be mine."

"[working at Bed Bath & Beyond] ME: Hi there, may I help you? What are you looking for? CUSTOMER: Shower head. ME: Sir, please, we just met."

"When sitting in traffic behind a good looking gal, ill rear-end her gently to see if I can ignite a romantic comedy."

"A conversation I just had. Friend - ""My Dad just bought a condo in Afghanistan, what an idiot."" Me - ""Are you kidding? Those real estate prices are set to explode."""

"Attempted to have a bath. I am 6'2"". The bathtub most certainly is not. I looked like a praying mantis trying to take a nap in an iPod dock."

"The only thing worse than watching a TED Talk is doing it on Netflix so your TV thinks you like TED Talks & tries to make you watch more"

"Where did the King keep his armies? In his sleevies!"