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Joke of the Day

"The only thing worse than watching a TED Talk is doing it on Netflix so your TV thinks you like TED Talks & tries to make you watch more"

"Why did the chicken cross the road? To see its smelly friend Knock knock Whos there Chicken!"

"You know what the difference between an SUV and a rental car is? You can take a rental car *anywhere*."

"What is 4 inches long, 2 inches wide and drives women crazy when they see it? An empty toilet paper roll."

"What's black and sits in the back of a cop car? The seat"

"Lucy fell in front of the train she screamed out for help ""HELP ME! I DONT WANT TO DIE THIS WAY!!"", so Luke came running over and cut her throat instead. Nice work Luke. You should be more like Luke."

"A man decides to give up his fancy lifestyle and moves to the wilderness to live with bears. He claims that he only needs the bear necessities."

"Marmite ... But paw may not."

"What does my mom and a turkey have in common? They both died on Thanksgiving"

"Dr. says I have an enlarged heart thanks doc I already know I'm super nice just trying to figure out why I can't breathe when I eat chips"