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Joke of the Day

"What do Brooklyn and pantyhose have in common? Flatbush."

"if I am elected governor I will eat your pillow while you sleep and unlike my opponent I will also do it if I am not elected"

"I don't sign anything without pretending to read it first."

"What's the one thing a woman wants most in this world? Nothing, she's fine"

"What's the difference between a peeping tom and a rapist? A rapist doesn't waste time beating around the bush"

"""I dunno, maybe you go steal an old lady's purse, you can hold up a liquor store, & you...just sit there looking mean."" -Unorganized Crime"

"Why can't you tell jokes to kleptomaniacs? Because they always take things, literally."

"What did the ghost say to the bees? Boo Bees! (say it aloud)"

"I was suffering from constipation the other day but I really didn't care In fact, I didn't even give a shit."

"Since Trump got elected 2.5 million Americans want to leave the country That's 2.5 million jobs he's already made!"