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Joke of the Day

"When the moon hits your eye... When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie that's amore. When you swim in a creek and an eel bites your cheek that's a moray."

"I used to live in a tea cup I know what you're thinking, pour you"

"The best things in life are free. Unless it's herpes. Stay away from people who want to give you free herpes."

"I can tell a train has been through here recently... You know how I can tell? Cause there is its tracks."

"What is the difference between John Wayne and Jack Daniels? Jack Daniels is still killing Indians."

"Here's a FedEx joke. Actually, you'll get it tomorrow."

"My GF spent $49 on a haircut. Had she gone to Petsmart she'd have gotten an ear cleaning, anal gland extraction and a free bandana as well."

"People are made to be loved and things are made to be used. The confusion of this world is that people are used and things are loved."

"What personal question is not obvious yet nobody has ever needed to ask anyone? Are you vegan?"

"Stepped into a spot this morning, where my dog had an accident. Unfortunately for her, taxidermy comes before training in the phone book"