86181

Joke of the Day

"You've wasted your time explaining sex to me I still don't get it."

"My friend asked me today what the name of the show is where they go fishing and catch all the crabs..I said ""Jersey Shore""...Was I wrong?"

"What do you do when you see an enemy with half a face? Reload and shoot again!"

"I didn't want to believe my father was stealing from the transportation department. But when I got home, all the signs were there."

"If this phone were really smart, it wouldn't let me call people."

"ARUGULA is my favorite vegetable whose name sounds like a car horn from the 50's."

"Alright, time for a Twitter spelling bee! First word: ""their"", meaning ""belongs to them."" Alright, that only leaves 14 of you left standing."

"Sorry I broke your arm when your reached for that last slice of pizza. -Flirting is hard."

"[interrupts co-worker] actually I don't feel like talking to you"

"What did one frog say to the other frog? Time's fun when you're having flies."