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Joke of the Day

"My friend asked me today what the name of the show is where they go fishing and catch all the crabs..I said ""Jersey Shore""...Was I wrong?"

"100% of people who eat in the dining area of the grocery store are murderers."

"Eat* a big** bowl*** of Cheerios****! Part***** of any healthy****** breakfast*******! [please read warnings and disclaimers carefully]"

"I've been reading a book about anti gravity I just can't put it down!"

"I told my friend a joke about last night's Game of Thrones episode.. He agreed it was well done."

"I had no idea Instagram was down until a girl in front of me at Starbucks cancelled her order, saying ""Instagram is down it's useless"""

"Kids: Dad why have you never taken us swimming [thinking of an excuse because I can't swim] Me: I got killed by a shark once"

"I hate finding out I'm arguing with someone who actually knows what they're talking about."

"I was wondering where the ball went then it hit me"

"My sense of humor is so sophisticated... ...it's not even funny."