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Joke of the Day

"Sure, everyone thinks a chubby dude in a diaper shooting people with a bow & arrow is cute until I do it at Starbucks & please send bail."

"GF: just FYI, my dad teaches at the Naval Academy [meeting her parents] ME: [lifting up shirt] does my belly button look weird to you?"

"A tall man and short man walk into a bar The tall man says ouch while the short man ducks under the bar."

"Why couldn't the life guard save the drowning hippie? Because he was too far out man."

"Why did the shell not go to the beach? Because he was self-CONCH-ious."

"is this Sara? hi, this is Tom from HS. my god its been years! Anyway, im calling because u changed your HBO Go password & I need the new one"

"Hitler's proofreader for Mein Kampf was literally a Grammar Nazi."

"Yo mama's so fat she's half Indian, half Irish, and half American."

"What's your name? SIENNA Where you from, Sienna? MALIBU Do you like sports? GOLF You're just replying w car brands aren't you? FORD F-SERIES"

"When life hands you donkeys, move to a mountainous region."