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Joke of the Day

"What did Emma Sulkowicz get for her birthday? I don't know but I'll tell you what she didn't get. Raped"

"Why do bulimics love KFC? It comes with a bucket."

"What is the French verb that means ""To declare war""? *Surrendre*"

"KIDNAPPER: Get in the trunk ME: You're abducting me 4 days before Christmas? K: Heh yep ME: Omg thank you K: What ME: I'm all yours K: Wait"

"what did the biologists call their basketball team? The Hemoglobin-Trotters!"

"Two fish are swimming in a tank... one looks at the other and says, ""You know how to drive this thing?"""

"Never date a philosophy major My last girlfriend was one and she spent most of her time trying to prove that I didn't exist"

"Wife: We're going to Jessie's BBQ today. Me: She's the one with the big--- Wife: They're fake! Me: So? -liveTweeting from the DogHouse"

"I'm writing some BSDM-themed LEGO fan-fiction. I hope to release it later as ""50 blocks of pain"""

"Ladies, if you give men a choice between two things we'll pick the first. We stopped listening and didn't hear the second."