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Joke of the Day

"KIDNAPPER: Get in the trunk ME: You're abducting me 4 days before Christmas? K: Heh yep ME: Omg thank you K: What ME: I'm all yours K: Wait"

"10 yr old brother put a twist on this joke I saw awhile back. Why do the Irish serve up their chili with 139 beans? Because one more would be one-farty bowl of chili!"

"I asked a Scottish friend of mine how many sexual partners he'd had. He started counting but fell asleep. Edit: WOW my top post is now a bestiality joke. Thanks guys :)"

"Why don't you ever see any Muslim methheads? They all just get stoned instead."

"I just watched a boring documentary on how to build a time machine. That's an hour of my life I'll probably get back."

"TIL theres a supermoon on the 14th. ELI5: If it's so super, why doesn't it fly around in the sky? Oh, right... because it got paralyzed and died."

"Girls treat guys like monkey bars. They don't let go of the last one until they got a grip on the next one."

"I told my friend she drew her eyebrows on too high She looked surprised"

"What would santa be if he was a farmer? A jolly rancher."

"I don't drink water anymore, not after what it did to the Grand Canyon"