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Joke of the Day

"Ladies, if you give men a choice between two things we'll pick the first. We stopped listening and didn't hear the second."

"I made a device that lets me hear diseases. Hearing cancer is great and all, but hearing AIDS sucks."

"How many ears does spock have? (if you don't get it read it aloud) a left ear, a right ear, and a final front ear."

"what do you call a chinese millionaire? Cha Ching"

"A microwave with three only buttons. 1. Hot Pocket 2. Pizza Rolls 3. 4 Hot Pockets and 60 Pizza Rolls"

"What is the Hamburglar's favorite David Bowie song? Rebel Rebel!"

"Do you know what I call my hiking playlist? My trail mix"

"Realized that I'm getting old. 20 years ago all of my friends were on drugs. Now they're all on medication..."

"Knock Knock. Who's there? It's me Mario!"

"A party was held for current and former actors where you had to come as your favourite musician. When Arnold Schwarzenegger was asked what he was going to wear, his response was I'll be Bach"